Oct 22, 2019
What is it like for a 19 year old to
lose her mom to cancer?
How does she
process her grief when her whole world changes (her childhood home
is sold and her dad remarries right away) and her support system
doesn't understand how to help her grieve? Join me as I interview
Kim Ludeman and her story of Grief & Loss After
Losing Mom.
As a Confidence Coach, Kim Ludeman doesn't just help women
feel good.
With more than 10 years of health & fitness experience, she's
obsessed with creating lasting change. Kim gets her clients to stop
hiding and live the life they WANT rather than one they think they
SHOULD (she also created and hosts her own podcast, coordinates a
private Facebook group, and offers individual and group coaching
under her company Captivatingly Confident).
Kim utilizes a blend of Personal Styling, Nutrition Guidance,
Mindset Coaching, and Personal Training to help women reveal their
radiance.
Kim found a passion for helping women stop hiding after losing
her mom to cancer when Kim was 19. Her message of body and
self-acceptance has moved thousands of women into taking a more
loving approach to their bodies and hearts.
She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, Tim. Off-hours
Kim can usually be found hiking with their 5-year-old Louis and
obsessing over all varieties of mustard.
Show Notes
15:30 How she got into her current business
18:00 Kim tells us her about her mom and how her life
influenced who Kim became
25:00 Her mom is diagnosed with Stage 4 Uterine & Ovarian
Cancer at age 43; Kim is 18 yrs old.
27:00 What was it like to know her mom didn't have long to
live and how she coped with no support
31:33 What it was like to lose her mom at age 19 and to enter
right back into life at college
33:00 How she responds to, "You have to stop crying. You
are making everyone else uncomfortable."
-She's in a better place.
-God has bigger plans
-We'll pray for you.
33:57 What would've felt supportive:
-Hold space for them.
-Hold their hand.
-Put your hand on their shoulder.
-Sit in the ashes with them.
-Just be with them.
- To be seen.
35:10 Things to Not Do:
-Try not to fix it.
-Compare the death to an animal's death.
-Compare the death to another person
-Scripture references
-Say you would pray for her
42:35 She didn't just lose her mom - she loses her childhood
home, her dad which drives her isolation
45:30 How she is now 15 years later
-Grief is like a ball in the box with a pain button
-How a baby shower triggered her grief into anger and sadness
38:00
51:56 A loving gift to her at her Baby Shower in remembrance
of her mom
53:10 Kim expands on her feelings of anger in regards to her
grief
- how thinking she needed to trust that God has a plan made it
so she felt she wasn't allowed to be angry at her situation
57:34 "Trauma (death of a loved one is a trauma) is stored in
the brain" If you find yourself stuck in anger or continually
triggered or reactive, there are therapy techniques designed to
help: Brain Spotting (https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/brainspotting-therapy),
EFT, EMDR, Neurofeedback
Kathleen's Parting Thoughts
Grief After Losing Mom
-
Make room for the possibility that her relationship with mom wasn't good -don't assume
-
Do you know someone who has a poor relationship with her mom - ask her about that
-
Stay away from fixing or silver lining statements
-
Remember the significant person in Kim's life in college, Andrea, she didn't say a word, she just held her
Facebook Group: The Captivatingly Confident
Community
Website: CaptivatinglyConfident.com
Podcast: The Captivatingly Confident
Podcast
Instagram: @kim.ludeman
Kathleen's Workbook -Embrace You: A Guide to Uncovering the Real
You
Wanna hear the why behind Kim's Big Reveal?
Become a Patreon Member of this podcast and get access to the
"Interview After the Interview" episode. https://www.patreon.com/whatshewishesyouknew
Are you a visual learner? Wish you had in written form
all the guest's tips about how to be a loving supportive
friend? Become a $2/month patreon member and receive an
Episode Guide that outlines all her practical tips (as well as some
others we didn't discuss).
Have more questions for Kim? Become a
$5/month Patreon Member and get access to a Live Q&A with
Connie inside our Patreon Exclusive Access Facebook
Group. https://www.patreon.com/whatshewishesyouknew
Facebook:
@WhatSheWishesPodcast
Instagram: @speakerkathleenmpeters